RED WINE HAIKU

Wine reviews as poetry in haiku form by Lane Steinberg. For oenophiles and everyone else...

Here's the backstory:

My elderly Junior High School English teacher, Miss Gimpel, introduced me to haiku. I had a real fondness for her, but her enthusiasm for haiku didn't make much of an impression on me. My earliest memory of drinking red wine is sharing a bottle of Night Train with a dishwasher at the summer camp where I worked as a waiter. I didn't like that much, either. But now, years later, it seems to me that haiku is the perfect vehicle to encapsulate all aspects of red wine, from the mysteriously sublime to the numbingly mundane. These haikus provide a quick blast of an impression without getting too specific. If the haikus are good, you should be able to taste them in your mind. Disclaimer: Why only red? The renowned critic Harry Waugh once said it was wine's obligation to be red. I like white wine just fine, but red's my drink. For the purposes of this website, all haikus are strict 5-7-5 syllables per line. That way the playing field is level for all.I post periodically, adding to the existing list from the top down.

USA TODAY writes about Red Wine Haiku!

 

A very generous entry about this blog appears in a new book by Michael J Gelb.

Wine Haikus
All material copyright control by Lane Steinberg. Original post 01/05 

Haikus 1-400 are no longer posted. They will appear in a book. Details soon.   

556) Marques Casa Concha Cabernet 2010 (Chile)

Come to me, my sludge

No light will ever pass through

That's why there's candles

 

555) Renieri Invetro 2010 (Italy)

Invade aortic

Prepare to exchange the blood

A feast to follow

 

554) Renieri Brunello Di Montalcino 2007 (Italy)

No time to shower

Felt mired in my own funk

Can't get the day back

553) Rodney Strong Sonoma County Cabernet 2010 (California)

I swim an ocean

Both bottomless and endless

No need to hurry

552) Castello di Gabbiano Chianti Classico Riserva DOCG 2010 (Italy)

You have disappeared

Persistence of memory

Keeps your taste alive

 
551) Rainstorm Pinot Noir 2010 (Oregon)

It's a quantum leap

From nothing to nothingness

This here's a small jump

550) Remole Toscana 2010 (Italy)

Bed's in the basement

Watch out for grandma's false teeth

Heat is included

549) Gabbiano Chianti Classico Riserva 2009 (Italy)

Miscalculations

One step she was in shadows

Blissful rendezvous

 
548) Tenuta Sassoregale Maremma Toscana Sangiovese (Italy)

Eating a calzone

Bouncing on a trampoline

I can multitask
                                                                                                                                

547) Tenuta Sassoregale Maremma Toscana Sangiovese (Italy)

Eating a calzone

Bouncing on a trampoline

I can multitask

 
546) Surh Luchtel Page Nord Syrah 2003 (California)

Time was slowing down

Not a damn thing we could do

Peaceful surrender

545) Loveblock Pinot Noir 2011 (New Zealand)

Someone lit a match

And matches can start fires

Even perfect ones

 

544) Sanctuary Usibelli Vineyard Cabernet 2009 (California)

The day of your birth

Everyone laughed and smiled

You cried bitter tears

543) Concha Y Toro Gran Reserva Cabernet 2011 (Chile)

Next! How do you do?

Can you show me any tricks?

Roll over, play dead!

542) Trivento Golden Reserve Malbec 2010 (Argentina)

Your life history

Told to me at rapid speed

What will I retain?

 
541) Emblem Oso Vineyards 2008 (California)

You were excited

Lit with enthusiasm

I'm a believer

540) Terre di Talamo 'Tempo', Morellino do Scansano 2009 (Italy)

One accordion

Lamplight serenade at dusk

Then the bus ride home  

539) Saladini Pilastri Rosso Piceno 2011 (Italy)

Your spicy meatballs

Are lately much spicier

Some sort of message?

538) Renieri Rosso Di Montolcino 2010 (Italy)

Squeezed into first class

The free upgrade made me glow

I kept the slippers

537) Franco Amoroso Barbera d'Alba 2010 (Italy)

Sal should stick to wine

He can be a real bastard

When he's drinking booze

536) La Corte Salice Salentino 2010 (Italy)

That's it, follow me

One foot after the other

You see? We're dancing!

535) Donna Chiari Taurasi DOCG 2008 (Italy)

After morning rains

The footpath turns to chocolate

Birds speak in flowers

534) Altrovino Due Mani 2006 (Italy)

Inkblot tablecloth

The price of intensity

Some stains won't come out

533) Etude Lyric Pinot Noir 2011 (California)

High-pitched puttering

"Stinking kids, get off my lawn"

Cashmere cardigan

532) Banfi Belnero 2009 (Italy)

I fill in the blanks

Succumbing to temptation

Yield to the softness
 

531) Banfi Brunello di Montalcino 2007 (Italy)

My sanctuary

A small room in the tower

Shadows of mercy
 

530) Banfi Rosso di Montalcino 2010 (Italy)

You woke me early

So we could watch the sun rise

Fun, but I was cold

529) Banfi Chianti Classico Riserva 2009 (Italy)

A rickety door

Pine needles stuck in my shoe

Unforgiving night

528) Banfi Chianti Superiore 2011 (Italy)

Who coined it pigtail?

Tightly coiled tuft of hair

Wrapped in elastic

527) Moulin De Gassac Guilhem 2009 (France)

Though we've talked all night

I can't remember your name

My mind is elsewhere

526) Frescobaldi Nipozzano Chianti Rufina Riserva 2009 (Italy)

A kiss that lingers

With memories of what was

And hope for what's left

525) Ozwell Select Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon 2009 (Australia)

Into the toilet

Would have been there anyway

Just a bit later

524) Cellar No.8 Pinot Noir 2010 (California)

A peck on the cheek

Some warm milk and a cookie

Right before bedtime

 
523) Rosso Contadino 9 (Italy)

Dandelion days

Innocence, a cherished state

Goats graze while we nap

522) Chateau Pichon Longueville 1995 (France)

When I was younger

I hadn't half as much fun

And now life's sweeter 

520) Querciabella Chianti Classico 2008 (Italy)

To find a deep truth

One needs the proper chisel

And a good dust mask

519) Santa Rita Reserva Carmenere 2009 (Chile)

Carmen, are you clothed?

There's policemen at our door

Pushing on our bell

518) Banfi Centine 2009 (Italy)

If the Italians

Were Native Americans

This would be their wine

517) Masi Costasera Amarone 2008 (Italy)

I remember her dad

Talking of the good old days

While scratching his balls

 

516) Donnachiara Irpinia Aglianico 2008 (Italy)

Stands tall in the glass

Like a lone scarecrow at dusk

Longing for summer

 
515) Benziger Sonoma County Merlot 2008 (California)

Hesitant at first

Then a pair of legs were found

Long walk towards nightfall

 
514) Nova Strada Di Moda Frappato 2011 (Italy)

You ain't from these parts

I can always peg strangers

Weird talent I have

513) Cecchi Chianti 2010 (Italy) 

Incrementally

I've come to love basic things

Because they are not

512) Chateau Haut Selve 2008 (France)

One strand of wire

Wedged beneath a rusty screw

Barely connected

511) Brigaldara Valpolicella Classico 2010 (Italy)

A country garden

After the leaves have fallen

What perfect sadness

510) Markham Merlot Napa Valley 2009 (California)

Please, not that outfit

You look like a lumberjack

In rhinestone earrings

509) Tenuta Sette Ponti Crognolo 2010 (Italy)

A right to the jaw

The champ is flat on the mat

Slowly, he rises

508) Tenute Silvio Nardi Rosso di Montalcino 2010 (Italy)

Beautiful sideways

Progressive strain on my neck

Discomfort as art

507) Michele Chiarlo Barolo 2008 (Italy)

I'm hitching a ride

Motorized feather pillow

See you next sunset

506) Villa Nozzole Chianti Classico 2007 (Italy)

Vivid splashdown kiss

Exaggerated, sustained

"Bongiorno, Dickhead!"

505) Montesu Isola del Nuraghi 2010 (Italy)

Of course it's solid

But I'm a bit underwhelmed

And that's being kind

504) Deep Purple Lodi Zinfandel 2010 (California)

After seven days

This changed from vin ordinaire

To love's elixer

503) Rodney Strong Russian River Pinot 2010 (California)

A prayer for relief

As summer contemplates drought

Dustbowl confection

502) Montefalco Rosso 2007 (Italy)

Rambunctious child

Punished and reprimanded

Finally behaved

501) La Serre Nuove Deli Ornellaia 2009 (Italy)

Goodbye perfection

I knew thee all too briefly

Cherished memories

500) Pisoni Pinot Noir 2005 (California)

Fruit softly caressed

Unfolding out for miles

Plush flying carpet

  

499) Cecchi Chianti Natio Organic 2009 (Italy)

The clearer vision

Slowly attracts adherents

An earned confidence

498) Mas De Masos 2002 (Spain)

The bottomless glass

The more that one drinks from it

The fuller it gets

497) North By Northwest Cabernet 2009 (Oregon)

Replete with something
That displaces emptiness

In a pleasant way

496) Piaggia Il Sasso Carmignano 2007 (Italy) 
Splayed out on the grass

Each moment is magnified 
While you're motionless

495) Domaine du Grand Tinel Chateauneuf du Pape 2007 (France)

Pinot goes crazy

Crashes the costume party

France folded in half

494) Domaine Les Pallieres Gigondas 2005 (France)

Fragile lace curtains

Allow sun to penetrate

Warm, muted colors

493) William Hill Bench Blend Cabernet 2007 (California)

In California

They take meetings in hot tubs

As the fog rolls in

492) Louis B. Martini Cabernet Sonoma County 2008 (California)

Great for beginners

Seven crayons in a box

Kindergarten Cab

491) Villa Mattielli Amarone della Valpolicella 2007 (Italy)

Weight on the back end

Keeps one warm throughout a night

Where stars are obscured

490) Rancho Zabaco Sonoma Heritage Zinfandel 2008 (California)

We rode in steerage

And dined on the thinnest gruel

Our next trip we'll fly

489) Bodega Luzdivina Amigo Bierzo Viñademoya 2006

Flab 'round the center

Says hello at middle age

And hangs a shingle

488) Roxyann Syrah 2008 (Oregon)

Baby butt softness

And a milk chocolate finish

Hide from the children!

487) Roxyann Merlot 2007 (Oregon)

When expectations

Are effortlessly eclipsed

One's left satisfied

486) Domaine Thevenot-Le Brun et Fils Bourgogne

Hautes Cotes de Nuits Les Renardes 2008 (France)

A name and a half

For this malnourished weakling

Perhaps still too young

485) Cannonball Cabernet 2008 (California)

Starts off promising

An impressive half gainer

Then a belly flop

484) Thumbprint Cellars Knight's Valley Cabernet 2007 (California)

Coming down your block

Footsteps that trample the earth

And stain your driveway

483) Faunus Nero D'avola 2008 (Italy)

Like stripes on a pig

Or hot cross buns in prison

Bursting with nothing

482) Crane Ridge Livermore Valley Merlot 2009 (California)

One can only miss

What they think they've known before

Past uncertainties

481) Bodegas Renacer "Punto Final" Malbec 2010 (Argentina)

Pencil factory

Abandoned for two decades

Still smells like pencils

480) Butterfield Station Cabernet 2009 (California)

Almost neutral

Tastes of grapes grown in plasma

First wine on the moon

479) Castlebank Zinfandel 2009 (California)

Frivolous and cold

Which by no means should suggest
It's without its charms

478) Maroon Zinfandel 2007 (California)

Gifted magicians

Miraculously transformed

A bowl of Fruit Loops

477) Surh Luchtel Syrah 2005 (California)

An enormous room

Light pours in through a skylight

Onto the soft bed

476) Chateau Lascombes Margaux 2002 (France)

Corners beautifully

Sleek leather upholstery

Many miles left

475) Jacuzzi Family Vineyards Barbera 2009 (California)

Pure California

But after a few hours

It turns Italian

474) Pricum Prieto Picudo 2007 (Spain)

My pants are too tight

And I have to run back home

Wearing fancy shoes

473) Ampelos Pinot Noir 2005 (California)

Nurtured from its birth

The child grew straight and strong

Liquified heaven

472) Ravenswood Vintner's Blend Zinfandel 2009 (California)

Hippocratic wine

Its first duty satisfied

There was no harm done

471) Artazuri Garnacha 2009 (Spain)

A Hawaiian shirt

Depicts a floral heaven

But burdens the eyes

470) Diamond Ridge Pinot Noir 2008 (California)

Overflowing fruit

Spilled on a picnic blanket

Bucolic daydream

469) Domaine Duclaux Chateauneuf-Du-Pape 2003 (France)

Don't rush to drink it

Inhale the heavenly scents

Of fresh rose petals

468) Marquis Phillips Grenache 2008 (Australia)

Full hearts slowly fall

Enveloped by alcohol

Great night had by all

467) The Crusher Merlot Wilson Vineyard 2008 (California)

Not the name I'd pick

Seducer is much more apt

Or The Innocent

466) MacMurray Ranch Central Coast Pinot Noir 2007 (California)

Stayed fresh for nine days

Its foundation holding firm

Nature kept at bay

465) Apothic Red Winemaker's Blend 2008 (California)

Warm spaghettios

And store-brand Romano cheese

Please pull the trigger

464) Sebastiani Sonoma County Merlot 2009 (California)

The chameleon

A fascinating creature

Throw him on the grill

463) Ghost Pines Zinfandel 2008 (California)

The baby's crying

But the pacifier

yields life too quiet

462) Deloach Russian River Vally Pinot 2008 (California)

Insane day I had

Ended with roasted chicken

And this peaceful glass

461) Benessere Sangiovese 2006 (California)

The spirit of youth

Beneath the banquet table

Goodbye lasagna

460) JT Cellars Syrah 2007 (California)

Expecting not bad

I wasn't disappointed

Life should be like this

459) Fonterutoli Chianti Classico 2007 (Italy)

A vein of sugar

Lies deep beneath the earth's crust

Teasing the needle

458) Santa Rita Floresta Apalta 2004 (Chile)

A fat roar promised

Lion's bite over rehearsed

Young prude in a vise

457) Bridlewood Pinot Noir 2008 (California)

A rattlesnake kiss

Beneath a sandalwood sky

A perfect poison

456) Valreas "Cuvee Prestige" Cotes Du Rhone 2007 (France)

Tiny spring daisies

Standing at full attention

Lapping up sunshine

455) Domaine La Garrigue Vacqueyras 2007 (France)

To recalibrate

Requires inspiration

This can be of help

454) Bear Flag Snooth Red Wine Blend (California)

The label's a mess

Busy, headache-inducing

Flatters the contents

453) Miros de Ribera Riserva 2001 (Spain)

The tangerine peel

I was chasing in my mouth

Quicker than the tongue

452) Kendall Jackson Merlot Vintner's Reserve 2006 (California)

Scientists with charts

Lunch with folks from marketing

Sales are through the rooftamorphosis

 Benessere Sangiovese 2006 (California)

Smiling hard sell

Replete with batting lashes

Then a mad retreat
  
451) Caliterra Tributo Carmenere 2008 (Chile)

The best value grape

Smooth drinking at its zenith

Flat screen fall sunset

450) MacMurray Winemaker's Block Pinot Noir 2005 (California)

Beguiling beauty

Ever changing, radiant

You drink till she's gone

449) Warwick Valley Cabernet Franc 2008 (New York)

New York's a marvel

But grapes grown in her soil

Taste best in jelly

448) Guenoc Victorian Claret 2007 (California)

Serene confidence

Is seduction's own trump card

Worth self-evident

447) Crognolo Toscanna 2007 (Italy)

Just one lousy grape

Snuck inside this fine bottle

And it's all I taste

446) JT Cellars Syrah 2007 (California)

Sometimes when it rains

The sky seems to be feeding

On its own grayness

445) Arniston Bay Cabernet/Merlot 2008 (South Africa)

Drawings of anchors

Should never grace wine botttles

Sends the wrong message

444) William Hill Estate Cabernet 2004 (California)

A t-shirt covers

Some flab around the middle

Where muscle's gone soft

443) Gerard Bertand Aigle Noir Pinot Noir 2008 (France)

Shy boy from the hills
Soft spoken, ready to work

Nothing's a problem

442) Dr. Jebediah Drinkwell's Meritage 2007 (California)

Cute name giveaway

A well-intentioned train wreck

Elves held at gunpoint

441) William Hill Merlot 2006 (California)

An abandoned path

Hacking through thick underbrush

Peace in the forest

440) Columbia Crest Two Vines Cabernet 2006 (Washington)

Serve with cheap hot dogs

Stale buns and canned sauerkraut

At least you're alive

439) Ramsay Pinot Noir 2007 (California)

No deft pirouettes

But respect of tradition

Is duly noted

438) Moulin De Duhart Pauillac 2005 (France)

This hissed licorice

From its pouting purple lips

Then sucker kissed me

437) DaVinci Brunello di Montalcino 2003 (Italy)

The pants were too tight

So the tailor let them out

Still, they grab the crotch

436) Hedges Family Estate CMS Red 2007 (Washington)

Way, way down inside

Honey, you really need me

A red zeppelin

435) Kendall-Jackson Cabernet Sauvignon Vintner's Reserve 2006 (California)

Sometimes experts can

Fabricate inspiration

With weights and measures

434) Seven Sisters Pinotage/Shiraz 2007 (South Africa)

I think the ladies

Should put more testosterone

Inside next year's boy

433) Rancho Zabaco Dry Creek Valley Reserve Zinfandel 2007 (California)

It drank like napalm

I let it air out for days

Now it softly coos

432) Las Rocas Garnacha 2007 (Spain)

For two years running

This one's given me pleasure

A double-yolk egg

431) M'hudi Pinotage 2007 (South Africa)

Sweating beef jerkey

Hung out in a smoking shed

No compromises

430) Sherry Lehmann Pinot Noir 2007 (California)

Like cotton candy

Extracted from rare flowers

That can shed real tears

429) Havens Reserve Merlot 2005 (California)

Missing the hurdle

The horse fell and broke his leg
Death was merciful

428) Las Rocas Garnacha 2006 (Spain)

Sandalwood fatness

Old memories of incense

In pure liquid form

427) Château Bellevue la Foret 2004 (France)

Chicken, this is wine

Wine, this is Tuscan chicken

Till death do us part

426) Marquis Phillips Sarah's Blend 2006 (Australia)

That's a cute baby

But you shouldn't let him drink

He bit my finger

425) Domaine Brunet Pinot Noir 2007 (France)

Cheap Pinot from France

So often undrinkable

Here finds radiance

424) Da Vinci Chianti Riserva 2003 (Italy) 
A half-fresh bouquet
With the scent of dead flowers
Masking those alive

423) Casa Mayor Merlot 2008 (Chile)

At ten thousand feet

One finds one's expectations

Are greatly reduced

422) Château Cos d'Estournel 1982 (France)

A great lesson here:

Never keep a hot women

In a warm closet

421) Chateau Haut Selve 2000 (France)

Smells like old lady,

Tastes of olive brine and plums

Weird and fading fast

420) Domaine des Grands Devers Cotes Du Rhone 2007 (France)

The place has been scrubbed
To a virginal essence

Cleaner I've not had

419) Bodegas Borsao Monte Oton Garnacha 2007 (Spain)

Protocol says sip

But you gulp from the bottle

Then laugh at the moon

418) Celler Cecilio Negere Priorat 2005 (Spain)

Don't wait to drink me
For right now I am perfect
With berries so ripe

417) Mueller Russian River Valley Syrah 2005 (California)

Some mid-section flab

But deep down I found a spine

And some true comfort

416) Dynamic Red Table Wine 2007 (California)

Made for the moment

But moments are all we have

Thumbs pointing skyward

415) Juan Gill Jumilla Monastrell 2006 (Spain)

Do you see these hands?

They rub, slap, clap, and caress

Each day burns anew

414) Scanavino Barbaresco 2002 (Italy)

Sublime seduction

Happened so gradually

Then I was ensnared

413) Wayne Thomas McLaren Vale Petit Verdot 2006 (Australia)

The referee counts

You lay dizzy on the mat

Better to stay down

412) TBD Rouge Lodi Red Wine 2007 (California)

Zin, Petite Sirah

A wacky pairing that works

But the label stinks

411) La Ferme Julien 2007 (France)

Linger over lunch

The warm fall air turns chilly

The wine disappears

410) Chateau Les Grandes Mottes 1998 (France)

Has his opinions

But mostly keeps to himself

Like a good waiter

409) Chateau Verdu 1999 (France)

The party's small talk

Seems so inconsequential

You opt for silence

408) Cereghino Smith 'Eaten By Bears' Red Blend 2007 (California/New York)

One senses the love

And the sure hand of nurture

In special children

407) La Macolina Sangiovese Riserva 2004 (Italy)

A supermodel

Sleep deprived with no makeup

Bare-boned adornment

406) Martin Codax Ergo Rioja 2005 (Spain)

Not much on the nose

And a very quick goodbye

Lovely while it lasts

405) Bernardino and da Silva Vinho Regional Estremadura Garrafeira 1997 (Portugal)

Rain hits the window

Your pillow is soft and dry

Soon you'll wake, not now

Aging gracefullyWith dark, defiant sweetnessForever's sunset

404) Monsanto Chianti Classico Riserva 2003 (Italy)

Truly classic things
Are by design unconcerned 
With newfangled trends

403) Mirassou Pinot Noir 2007 (California)

Hate's irrational

It fills the soul with poison

Useful marinade

402) Famille Ligneres Piece de Roche 2004 (France)

No nose to speak of

But a nice fat spank of grape

Hangs on for dear life

401) Domaine d'Andezon Cotes du Rhone Rouge 2007 (France)

All that's red glistens

In Rhone's most magical year

Perfect fruit's sweet sweat

400) Chateau La Pointe 1998 (France)

Perhaps a hair short

But that would be nitpicking

Nap on pine needles
 
Besides sucking down wine and writing verse, Lane Steinberg is a songwriter and redording artist. Check out his music